chedstone.com

Yep! Believe it or not, they have managed to suck every ounce of patience and pleasantry out of my soul.

Today a client of mine sent me a message that their site was down.  I scrambled, thinking, “Holy shit!”  I go to the site.  I get a page saying, “Cannot establish a connection to the database.”

I think, maybe we got hacked?  Maybe the database server is down? I throw up a support chat window with the hosting service while I check my passwords and code, etc. for any signs of a hack.  Nothing.

It’s iPower Hosting.  Being Douches.  Once Again.

Ten minutes later I get “Nancy Smith” in the chat window.  It takes her forever to respond to me as she goes down her list of canned responses to cut and paste into the chat window.

I spent 30 minutes on the chat with her only for her to finally admit there is something wrong with iPower’s database servers at the end. Nothing like keepin’ a brotha in suspense!

No server redundancy.  Nothing.

Interested in seeing my frustrated convo with the idiot CSR? Read the rest after the jump.

info: Thank you for contacting support. Please be prepared to answer your Security Question when we begin chatting. To enhance our security protocols, we’ll need you to provide the answer to your Security Question at the beginning of our conversation. If you have not yet set your Security Question and Answer, please log into your account now to set it up. Thank you. Please hold for the next available operator to respond.
info: We appreciate your patience. All operators are currently assisting other customers. Please continue to hold and we’ll be with you as quickly as possible. In the meantime, please be prepared to answer your Security Question when we begin chatting. To enhance our security protocols, we’ll need you to provide the answer to your Security Question at the beginning of our conversation. If you have not yet set your Security Question and Answer, please log into your account now to set it up. Thank you for waiting. 
info: We appreciate your patience. All operators are currently assisting other customers. Please continue to hold and we’ll be with you as quickly as possible. In the meantime, please be prepared to answer your Security Question when we begin chatting. To enhance our security protocols, we’ll need you to provide the answer to your Security Question at the beginning of our conversation. If you have not yet set your Security Question and Answer, please log into your account now to set it up. Thank you for waiting. 
info: We appreciate your patience. All operators are currently assisting other customers. Please continue to hold and we’ll be with you as quickly as possible. In the meantime, please be prepared to answer your Security Question when we begin chatting. To enhance our security protocols, we’ll need you to provide the answer to your Security Question at the beginning of our conversation. If you have not yet set your Security Question and Answer, please log into your account now to set it up. Thank you for waiting. 
info: You are now chatting with ‘Nancy Smith’
Roy: Hi nancy, my security phrase is ********************
Nancy Smith: Hi Roy. I apologize for the wait time. My name is Nancy, how are you today? 
Roy: fine
Roy: im having a problem connecting to my database server. my site is down
Roy: are there any system issues i should be alerted to?
Nancy Smith: Can you please hold while I review your account and get back within 2 to 3 minutes? 
Roy: hello?
Roy: fine
Nancy Smith: Thank you for holding.
Nancy Smith: Thank you for the authentication.
Roy: so whats going on?
Roy: hello?
Nancy Smith: Yes.
Roy: what is going on?!
Nancy Smith: Can you please provide me the exact URL where you are receiving the error?
Roy: both my sites we hsot with you
Roy: www.********************.com
Roy: and www.********************.com
Roy: they are in my account information which you have already reviewed
Nancy Smith: I’m sorry, in order to assist you, I am going to have to ask a member of our team who specializes in this issue to take care of this for you. 
Nancy Smith: Would you prefer a phone call or an e-mail when this is resolved?
Roy: call me
Roy: 2092024146
Roy: any idea of what is goin g on or are you jsut going to keep copying and pasting your default messages into this chat?
Nancy Smith: Okay.
Nancy Smith: I only have your first name. Can I have your complete name for our records?
Roy: Roy McKenzie
Nancy Smith: Thank you! 
Roy: When can i expect a call?
Nancy Smith: It will take 24 - 48 hours to resolve your ticket.
Roy: so my site could be down for 24 hours?
Nancy Smith: I apologize for any inconvenience this has caused you.
Nancy Smith: We are aware of the issue that you are experiencing with database. We are experiencing issues with our servers. Our engineers have started working on the issue as soon as they were aware of it. We are on the final stage of the fix and the trouble should be resolved at the earliest.
Roy: So my site could be down for 24 hours?
Roy: Finally an answer, thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Roy: at the earliest what?
Nancy Smith: Within couple of hours.
Roy: You guy are astounding. lol.
Roy: I can’t believe it took 20 minutes for you to finally admit there was an issue.
Nancy Smith: Thank you for the compliments!
Nancy Smith: Is there anything else I can assist you with today?
Roy: It wasn’t a compliment,
Roy: Hold on one second.
Nancy Smith: Okay.
Nancy Smith: Is there anything else I can assist you with today?
Roy: hold on one second
Nancy Smith: Okay.

I hung up the chat at that point.  Fuck iPower.